Empire (book)

I have now read thirteen books by Orson Scott Card. Next to Dean Koontz, he is my most read author. I think I've decided that will change after reading Empire.

First, let me give you my rating. When it comes to fiction, I think you should know what I thought of a book before reading why.

My Rating: 2.5/5
My Recommendation: Skip It

Okay, now that you're going to skip this book (because you hang on my every word and recommendation), you won't mind a few spoilers.

This book started off great. Terrorists, presidential assassinations, guns, explosions, etc. And to top it off there was some great insight into how our democracy in America is devided between blue-staters and red-staters. Actually very interesting stuff.

And then the mechs came in. There is NOTHING in this book to suggest that it is in the future. As far as you, the reader, are concerned, this is modern day. There is no mention of anyone having any kind of superior technology, but suddenly men in ROBOT COSTUMES start destroying New York City. Are you KIDDING ME? It was like Robot Jox suddenly jumped into an up-until-then great book.

Okay, so the rest of the book had been good so far, maybe I can overlook the absurdity of mech warriors. So the main character drives away and looks in his rear-view mirror, only to see that he is being chased by HOVER BIKES. WhAt?!?! Where did those come from? Since when do we have the technology for hover bikes? There was no mention of this sort of technology existing in the world Card created. Not to mention that the fact that they hovered played NO part in the plot.

These two outrageous things made the book cheesy and absurd and I found it difficult to digest the rest of the book. And I haven't even mentioned the fact that after half the book was done, he killed off the MAIN CHARACTER (sorry, I told you there'd be spoilers)! You don't just get a reader invested in someone and then kill him off. After that it was difficult to keep reading because you just didn't care about the rest of the side-characters who were now taking over the remainder of the plot.

On the lighter side, Card had some great political isight. His whole idea about how America just might end up in a civil war seemed fairly plausible and intreguing. Along with that, I really enjoyed his layers and layers of stories. This was not a one-dimensional story (this happened, then that happened), but it was deep and intricate, even if often predictable.

It took me 6 months to read this book. I think I read 2 or 3 complete other books while reading this one because I couldn't seem to get through it. I blame Christmas for making me finish it finally--I got some new books and I wanted to tie up loose ends before starting on the new stuff.

Another thing that I have noticed with Card lately is this (warning, blatant bragging and pride about to come forth): I feel that I can write as good as or better than OSC. He's not a terrible author by any means--I wouldn't have read 13 of his books if he was--but I do feel that his writing is inferior to other authors I've read, Dean Koontz, Stephen Gould, Stephen King, to name a few. There are so many times that I read a passage and find myself jarred out of the story thinking "I could write that so much better." When that happens, I've stopped reading, I've stopped believing the book is temporarily real. I don't profess to be the best author on earth, I mean, hey, look how many novels I've published. But this is a recocurring thing with OSC: when I read his books, all I can think about is that I can do better.

So why 2.5 stars? Like I said, it wasn't ALL bad. There were quite a few redeeming values and parts of it were somewhat entertaining on some levels. I've read MUCH worse books. But remember, 2.5 is still 50%. That's an "F" in my line of work.

My recommendaiton: Skip this book. If you like (or want to like) OSC, go read the Ender's series. While I'm unhappy with OSC at this moment I still claim that the Speaker for the Dead series are some of my most favorite books I've ever read.

The Andromeda Strain (Movie - 1971)

This is a classic sci-fi movie that takes itself very seriously. Based on the best-selling novel by Michael Crichton, this movie was very popular in its day and has also been more recently remade (review coming soon on the remake).

I found the plot interesting even if unoriginal. Then again, it very well may have been original in its day. Have you ever seen Outbreak? This is like an old 70s version of that movie.

It was interesting to see "super advanced" computers whose graphics looked like the Atari.

The acting was nothing to applaud. Every single character (and I mean every character) seemed to be angry and yelling the entire movie. Not very good direction--I'm sure the actors themselves were capable of much more.

The believability was high. Everything, even if a very serious, angry, and non-smiling, was portrayed in a very real-world way.

As I mentioned before, the plot left a bit to be desired. It was paper thin: an alien bacteria enters the atmosphere via a down satellite. It mutates, travels by air, and kills you in seconds. The main characters must figure out how to stop it. That's pretty much the whole movie. That said, I did actually find the movie quite unpredictable. It was shot in a way that you weren't sure if the good guys would actually win. It felt like an long episode of the old Outer Limits in which anything is possible.

Thin plot, not-so-great acting, poor direction, but unpredictable and believable.

My Rating: 2/5
My Recommendation: Skip it (unless you are totally into the classic sci-fi thing, in which case you might as well see it for its nostalgic factor)

TMNT (movie)

As a kid I loved the Ninja Turtles. Who didn't? I had the action figures and I would spend time in class drawing them instead of doing my English or Math assignments. I even loved the three feature movies that were made. Especially part 2. I can't remember what it was about, but I remember really liking part 2.

Naturally I was excited to see this movie when I heard about it. Unfortunately, I was quite disappointed.

My biggest complaint was the graphics. They were terrible. It was cgi instead of cartoon, which, in my opinion, brings with it a certain level of expectation. Instead of Final Fantasy cgi, or even Toy Story cgi, the result was more like the opening cinamatics to a video game. You know what I mean, you pop Halo into your xBox or install Age of Empires III on your computer and when you run the program, they play a bit of the story line in cgi movie format (click here for the Age of Empires III opening cinematic example). Well TMNT was like watching a HUGE LONG opening video game cinematic sequence.

It was tough to get past that. The entire movie it was hard to concentrate on the story when all i could see was sloppy cgi work.

The story was shallow. Let me put it this way: Here's the premise: The turtles are older, and no longer a team. They've all gone off to do their own things. Bad monsters start terrorizing NYC.

There, now YOU tell me how the rest of the movie will play out. See what I mean? You can probably accurately tell me exactly what happens for the next hour and a half.

It was, however, slightly entertaining only because I loved the turtles so much as a kid. I really didn't like Raphael's new bad attidude and I felt that his sudden change of heart at the end (oops, did I give that away? Oh, no, you would have predicted it easily in the first 10 minutes of the movie) was too quick, simple, and without premise. It was unrealistic to say the least.

I didn't hate the movie. It was fun to watch in spite of it being basically terrible in every way. If I give a movie a 1/5, to me that says I hate it. So for that reason alone:

My Rating: 2/5
My Recommendation: Skip it

Fool's Gold (Movie)

I got talked into watching this movie by Megan and her family on the promise that it was not a chick flick. They were right. In spite of the movie posters and the trailers that advertise this movie it was not, after all, a chick flick.

It was, however, incredibly cheesy and over the top.

The story itself was well thought out, even if a quite generic treasure hunting movie. Have you ever seen Romancing the Stone? I watched that move about 100 times as a kid. This movie was less chick-flicky but had a similar feel to Romancing the Stone... with a lot more modern cheese involved.

For example, the daughter of the billionaire yacht owner was over-the-top ditsy and while they made fun of her dumbness in the movie, I still could not believe that someone in real life would be that stupid.

There was also the bad guy: BigBunny--a gangsta rapper that owned an island in the tropics where this movie takes place. It was absurd. He and his henchmen seemed to be right out of a Home Alone movie and it was painful to watch.

And (must I keep going?) there was a Russian sidekick diver guy that kept showing up in the movie. He too was over-the-top dumb, but even more than that, he had NO ROLE in this movie. I am NOT exaggerating when I say that every single one of his lines and scenes could have been cut from the movie and NOTHING would have felt missing or out of place.

The only redemming quality of this film was the beauty with which it was shot. The surrounding scenery was supurb and the colors used throughout were breathtaking. I'm sure a lot of post-production color correction was involved, but the result was visualy pleasing.

This movie could have been much better done. Make the bad guys more realistic, take the cheese completely out of the movie, get the main characters to take things a bit more seriously, and you've got yourself a quality movie (even if the plot was generic and predictable).

Oh, and p.s., the title of the movie has NOTHING to do with the movie. I'm serious. Nothing.

My Rating: 2/5 (1 point for a visually pleasing film and 1 point for somewhat of an entertainment value)
My Recommendation: Skip it.

The Day The Earth Stood Still (Movie - 1951)

I've always wanted to see this movie because it's a classic sci-fi. When I went to see The Dark Knight I saw a preview for a remake of this movie so I thought it was time I finally see the original.

It was entertaining, but if I am to be honest, it was mostly only entertaining because it was a classic. Given what technology they had back in 51, the "special FX" were pretty good (if you call it that). But the story itself was quite thin. Basically a guy comes from another planet to warn Earth and.... oh wait, THAT'S THE WHOLE MOVIE!

The novelty factor was high; the nostalgic factor was high; the story? It left a bit to be desired. I am definitely more excited about the new upcoming version. Click here to see the preview of the new movie.

My Rating: 2/5
My Recommendation: If you're into the nostalgic, black and white movie, classic sci-fi thing, it's a must see. Otherwise, while it was entertaining, I'd say skip it.

It Could Happen to You (Movie)

This 1994 movie was on tv the other day and I DVR'd it. I'd seen it before but I remember it was kind of an interesting movie and I had nothing better to do. I like Nicolas Cage and he did well in this movie, though it wasn't his best performance.

Mostly I just really like seeing some shmoe win the lottery and it was interesting to watch him give half of it as a tip to a waitress.

Beyond that the movie was quite predictable. You knew he'd end up with the waitress and dump his more-than-annoying, over-the-top wife. The second half of the movie was actually quite boring and seemed to drag on and on as you waited for these things to happen.

Overall, the first half was okay and the last half a bit boring. Plus, it's a bit of a chick flick and that can't help its rating in my department. :P

My Rating: 2.5
My Recommendation: If you've got NOTHING better to do, catch it on TV (but I'm sure you could break out a DVD in your collection that'd be more entertaining.